Monday, February 1, 2010

::collapses onto blog::


Okay, so I'm still alive. And things are going really, really well. I had kind of a hard time getting back into the swing of things, but only for maybe two weeks or so. I went pretty quickly from wanting to quit every 20 minutes, to only wanting to quit every day or so, and then it was all uphill from there.

It was hard to sit alone in the lab, drilling my fake teeth (a prerequisite to clinic since I was gone so long), while both my new and old classes were up in clinic. And it was a lot harder than I expected to see all my old classmates so far ahead of me, and so close to graduation. Still is, I guess. I feel a little bit left behind, like I failed somehow. And I know that next year will be really lonely when they are all gone and have DMD after their names.

Getting used to my new schedule has been a little bit difficult, too... I won't lie. I went suddenly from staying at home all day, every day, to the insanity of clinic and classes and daycare. Caroline had kind of a hard time adjusting to napping at daycare, which resulted in interrupted sleep at night, so the first week was kind of a blur. I definitely had days where I'd be trudging up the hill to the health center, two different socks on and my hair all a mess, thinking things like "man, I don't even remember half of my drive here. Hey, what's that crud on my wedding ring? I hope that isn't Caroline's poop. ::sniff sniff:: Nope. Indian food. Phew. ...Wait, when did I have Indian food?"

But overall? I am so glad that I went back. It hasn't quite been a month yet, and I already feel like I am back in the game, and I'm loving it again. Yes, I am tired and I'm stressed and I feel like I've forgotten a lot of really important stuff. But I remember why I wanted to do this. And I'm really glad that I made myself go back and get through the first tough few weeks.

I do miss Caroline during the day. Some days I don't get home until she is already in bed... and that sucks. A lot. I go into her room on those nights and watch her sleep for a little while, half wishing that she'll get up during the night, just so I can see her.

But daycare is good for her. She still isn't mobile (a topic for a whole nother post...) and so I'm hoping that being around all the other kids will help with that.

AND. She's going to be a year old on Friday. A year old. Can you believe it? I can't. I absolutely can't. I want to type all sorts of horrendously dull cliches, like "where did the time go?" and "she's growing up so fast." She is talking up a storm these days. Her latest tricks include (very) short sentences, like "whadat?" and "wassdiss?" and, Tyler's favorite, "ohshish!" (Yes, we can go ahead and blame that one on her father. You have to watch what you say around her, even though she isn't even one yet.) Even though she doesn't crawl or pull up or walk, she is so smart... which helps me feel better about the lack of mobility. We will have to call early intervention back, though, because I'm pretty sure she's going to need some physical therapy. Oh well. At least she can curse. Right? (That was sarcasm, right there.)

What else? I know I am rambling, because I am tired. I still have to study for a final, and probably I should take a shower, because I haven't done that since... well... nevermind. Before I go, I'll share a few recent pictures of Caroline. I do have a video of "ohshish!", but we'll go ahead and keep that particular parenting failure off the internet, kthx.


Kat said...

I know how hard going back to school is after having a baby. I went back when both my children were 3 months old, and it's scary to leave them, and hard to balance everything. But you'll get into the groove, and in the future you'll be glad you did. :) Good luck!

MSLibLady said...

I'm glad things are going well for you and Caro has adjusted!

Ashley T said...

I'm so glad that your enjoying school again... gives me hope that I can make it to graduation too! :)

p.s. Baby's swearing = cutest thing ever! I say, post the video! lol

Kat said...

Congrats for taking on the world!! And I totally agree...It is so hard when I get home and Mr. T is already asleep. But I really do think he benefits at daycare. I love being back at work. And let's face it, the money doesn't hurt either! So good for you for taking it all on.

zapswife said...

Good for you for going back and making that transition.
I wanted to throw in a comment about her language development vs. her physical development. Clearly she is using a lot of energy to build her language. I would definitely look into the early intervention you can find available but I would also be reassured that it looks like she's ahead of the game in language (coming from an SLP) :)
Rock on Caroline!

myranda said...

She is such a doll!! I love love love those eyes!!And the "ohshish" thing is STILL cracking me up.

Bex said...

Glad you've found your calling all over again! And happy early birthday to your baby girl. She has herself some incredible eyes.

Kelly said...

Look at that face!! She is too cute. Glad you're in full swing- keep it up!

Susan said...

I'm glad you are getting back into the swing of things! And she will do better with the napping at daycare eventually. It will just take a little while for her to get into a schedule there.

And I can't believe she's already almost a year old!!!! I actually cried when I put Emilia to bed right before she turned 1. It made me realize that she's growing too fast and it won't slow down anytime soon. But it will only get better from here on out...right?!?!?!

edmo said...

She's so cute. Daycare was really good for our son too. He just shines around other kids and learns so much. I always recommend that people send their children to daycare one week before going back to work/school because it messes up their schedule so much that you need a week of adjustment before your life gets crazier too. Glad you survived that.

Hannah F.R. said...

Glad to hear things are going well. I am getting close to going back to work (6 more weeks) and it will have been a year that I have been home with my daughter. It is such a relief to hear from other moms that it will be ok!

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