Tuesday, November 11, 2008

No one ever told me...

Well, I had another one of those unbelievably crappy days that makes me want to lie on the floor and cry and then get up and immediately quit dental school. But tonight, my strategy is to completely ignore that, and instead share a list of things no one ever told me about pregnancy. There are a lot of weird and sometimes gross things that happen to you that I never would have guessed...
  1. "Morning sickness" is a stupid name. It should be called "constant, all-day, horrific nausea and vomiting that does not always end with the first trimester." I know, it takes a little longer to say, but in the interest of accuracy...
  2. You feel like you're about to get your period (cramps and all) for the first 8 weeks that you're pregnant.
  3. Your taste changes: foods you used to love, you might not be able to stand thinking about... and foods you used to hate, you might want to eat every day.
  4. You can start getting (fake) contractions as early as halfway through your pregnancy.
  5. You might never poop again. Or at least it seems that way.
  6. You can get random nosebleeds for no reason at all. Your nose can also be really stuffy and/or runny all the time.
  7. Your boobs can start leaking waaaay before you need them to. We're talking 18 weeks here, ladies.
  8. Your gums get really sensitive and bleed like crazy. Seriously, it is like a horror movie every time I floss.
  9. As your belly grows, your bellybutton becomes a terrifying thing that I can't even look at anymore, honestly, that thing freaks me out to no end. Okay, maybe this is just me...
  10. You discover a whole new meaning to the term "snail trail."
  11. Heartburn. Sometimes I think this baby is living in my esophagus. And breathing fire in there.
  12. You might pee a little when you sneeze (a.k.a., the dreaded "sniss"). I'm not saying this has happened to me yet (it hasn't), but I've had a few close calls.
  13. Varicose veins: they're not just for old ladies anymore. Fortunately, these allegedly go away after delivery.
  14. Your hair stops shedding while you're pregnant. This is rather a problem when you already have enough hair on your head for two people.
  15. You might need to try and soothe your baby so you can get some sleep... even before he or she is born! I wake up most nights to feel those little fists or feet beating away at one of my internal organs.
  16. Sometimes when you eat, you end up hungrier than before you started eating.
That's been my experience so far, anyway! Feel free to add to my list in the comments.


MJ said...

This post is so funny! I love reading your blog, I've been following it since it was on the nest, good job. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!

Ashley T said...

You crack me up! I hope that you;ll give us a list of the good stuff too?

From Marriage to Motherhood said...

im 20 weeks pregnant and just found your blog. While although I am commenting on this old post from Nov of 2008, everything that your wrote rings true with how Im feeling! The little miracle in the end is worth is all though, right?! :)