I always get irritated with no-shows, just because it's so inconsiderate to me and my schedule. This one particularly bothered me since I'd put in so much time for the patient and tried so hard to meet her needs and help her out... and she has so much work that she needs done and I need to do, to fulfill requirements! I was still mulling it over while cleaning the apartment this evening (out of some misguided need to get something done today) when it hit me like a ton of bricks...
Drug seeker. Shit.
I feel like such an idiot for not getting it. She's on methadone, she says she's been clean for two years, but really that isn't that long. I let the fact that she was so sweet and timid fool me into busting my butt for her to get that prescription, because she knew she wouldn't be able to get one on her own with her history. I'm still so new at all this that I don't take charge of my patients as much as I should, and now I'm paying for it because I spent all this time on this woman and instead of helping her get the dental care she needed, I fed her addiction and now she's gone.
I know this happens and it's not necessarily my fault, and her physician did write the script (not me), but I can't help feeling kind of stupid. Maybe I'm being too hard on her and she has a good excuse, and she'll show up to her next appointment that I've already scheduled... but that's her last chance with me, I'm not getting her any more drugs and I'm not making any more appointments until she decides to show up. I'm just really, really frustrated that I let her deceive me like that!!