Baby product reviews

I know a lot of moms, moms-to-be, and future moms read my blog, so I thought I'd write a post on our favorite (and not-so-favorite) baby items. If you recall, when I first got pregnant I had absolutely no idea what to do with a child... even looking at those "suggested registry" lists made me break out in a cold sweat, because I didn't even know what half of the things on the list WERE. So I researched every single thing we bought to death! And here's the product of my experience so far.

STUFF I ABSOLUTELY CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT:

1. Boppy pillow. This has been absolutely critical to me every time I nurse. I have zero arm strength and no motivation to get any, so I NEED this to prop her up to my boob. It saves my back, too... and you spend a zillion hours a day nursing if you end up exclusively breastfeeding. You can also put the baby on it for playtime and tummy time. I used it to bottle feed in the beginning when I was pumping a lot, so formula feeders can get use out of it too.

2. Dr. Brown's bottles. Everyone has a different opinion on bottles, but I love these. They have extra parts which are kind of a pain to clean, but it's worth it for the reduction in gas and spit-up. I have a reflux baby. I would know.

3. Lansinoh double electric pump. Half the price of the Medela pumps, but I actually got better output with this pump than with my Medela hospital rental. Probably because I wasn't howling in pain the entire time I was hooked up to the thing.

4. Boppy bouncy seat. Half the time I just use it when I need to put her down. Even more important, we've had the same batteries in it since she was born (and we turn it on many times a day) and they are still going strong! Plus, it has catchy music.

5. As far as diapers go, we liked Pampers for disposables. We are currently in the process of switching to cloth, and for those we use BumGenius organic one-size (with the snaps). I'll be discussing my unlikely transformation into crunchy-hippie mama in a future post. Stay tuned.

6. Baby Bjorn or some other front carrier. 90% of the time I use this rather than a stroller. Also great for around the house when they are fussy in the evenings!

7. Fisher Price Ocean Wonders Aquarium. We've attached this to her cradle and she cannot fall asleep without it. She will even put herself to sleep without crying while she stares at it... enough said, right?

8. AngelCare movement monitor. We received this as a gift, but even if we hadn't, it would still absolutely have been worth the $100 or whatever it costs. We were so anxious about her breathing when we left the NICU that this literally saved our sanity. Even if your baby isn't in the NICU, you will probably waste a lot of YOUR sleep time constantly checking on their breathing. This gives you the peace of mind that everything is okay... and if it isn't, you'll know about it right away. And we've never had a single false alarm (although it does go off if we lift her out of the cradle and forget to turn it off, so I feel confident it would go off if she stopped breathing).

9. Halo sleepsacks and Kiddopotamus SwaddleMes. Swaddling is key to sleeping long stretches... otherwise, baby whacks him/herself in the face and wakes up. Receiving blankets don't work for very long-- baby busts out of them pretty easily, and the SwaddleMes have velcro tabs to hold the swaddle tight all night long. The sleepsacks are key if you worry about the SIDS risk of having loose blankets in baby's bed.

STUFF THAT'S GOOD TO HAVE, I GUESS:

1. Nursing glider. I rarely sit in it, but it's a nice luxury. Sometimes it will calm her when I rock in it, but not always. If you have a recliner or rocking chair already, I'd say skip the expense.

2. Swing. It seems to me that everyone else's baby loves to sleep in it, but Caroline will only sit in it for a couple minutes with a pouty look on her face before she starts screaming. Not all babies like them, so I'd recommend waiting until you actually have your baby and then go test one out at Babies R Us to see if you have a swing baby.

3. Snuggle Nest. Even if you don't want to cosleep, chances are you will at one time or another in the beginning, just so you can get a little sleep! The snuggle nest lets the baby be close to you (some even have a little night light and an incline for reflux/congestion) but keeps him or her away from covers and pillows, which is much safer and gives you peace of mind. Not totally necessary, but nice to have. Also useful for transitioning to the crib from a bassinet or cradle (baby still feels secure in a smaller space within the bigger crib).

STUFF YOU SHOULD SKIP UNLESS YOU LIKE WASTING MONEY:

1. Huggies diapers: blowout central. (Although I have heard this depends on the baby.) Unless you have stock in stain remover, in which case hey, go for it.

2. Dreft laundry detergent. You don't need it, and the fragrance ingredients can actually irritate some babies' skin. Just use a "free and clear" detergent-- Caroline has super sensitive skin, and this has worked fine for us so far.

3. Travel system. ALERT! DO NOT get this. I ignored lots of advice and got one because I didn't want to buy the Snap 'n Go frame for the carseat and then have to buy another stroller later on... but they are HEAVY and awful and I just don't use mine because it's too much of a struggle. Get the infant carseat, Snap 'n Go, and later on get a lightweight stroller like a Maclaren.

So, there you go! I hope it's somewhat helpful to someone out there. Feel free to ask any questions in the comments, I will try to remember to answer them!

Flashback

3 months ago today... before all the tubes and wires...

One of only two pictures I have of me holding her on her birth day. I didn't know my dad had taken it until he showed it to me just last week... it makes me tear up every time I look at it.

I was so lucky to get to hold her right after she was born, even for just a few minutes. So many NICU mommies don't get that chance. I'll always be grateful that I did.

Happy 3 month birthday, Caroline!

My body, postpartum (dun dun dunnn)

You knew this was coming from me eventually!

I expected having a baby to totally trash my body. I mean, it sounds horrible, right? Growing a 7ish-pound person in there and then pushing it out your vag, or having it pulled out through a cut in your belly? (Some days I still can't believe I actually did that and lived to tell about it. It's all very Alien.) I've never been good about weight gain. I tend to get very upset, so this was one of the things I was really worried about.

But I came through it pretty much unscathed, in the long run. I obsessed over my weight gain the entire pregnancy, but from the day I found out I was pregnant to the day I delivered, I gained an unexciting 28 pounds. (Keep in mind, though, that I delivered at exactly 8 months pregnant.) I somehow didn't get any stretch marks, even though I have some from puberty so I know I'm predisposed to them. I'm still kind of chubby-looking, but most of the weight has come off without doing anything more than breastfeeding, eating reasonably, and halfheartedly jogging from time to time. (I'm about 5 pounds up from my pre-pregnancy weight, although I've lost a lot of muscle tone so that number sounds a lot better than it looks.)

A lot of the weight comes off directly after giving birth, and then it kind of stalls. I swear, at least 10 pounds of my weight must have been water, because about a week after giving birth I looked at my ankles in the shower and they were THERE again. I almost fell over in shock. They looked like sticks to me. I hadn't seen them in so long.

Even with weight loss, though, your body ends up being shaped totally differently. Your hips spread, at least if you deliver vaginally (I can't speak for the C-section mommas). Weight seems to be distributed differently. Your old jeans don't have a prayer of fitting. I've also still got that sweet linea nigra running down my belly, along with an attractive little kangaroo pouch due to stretching of skin and muscle. Probably nothing that about a thousand situps couldn't fix, if I ever had the motivation or energy to do them (I do not), although my belly button will probably always look slightly weird.

Overall, it wasn't nearly as bad as I imagined it to be. Which is good, because I am very vain and selfish like that. I'm hoping that by summertime I should be able to fit into my old clothes, because I really don't want to have to buy a new wardrobe! (Well, okay, I do, but not because I'm too large for my old stuff.)

Still-- it doesn't help when "friends" say things like "Oh look! You have a butt now! You never used to have a butt." (Insert Death Stare here. I'm getting a lot of use out of that thing lately.)

I'd post a "belly" picture, but Caroline is sleeping in the room that has the full-length mirror, and I don't want to wake the beast. I can tell you, though, that it looks absolutely nothing like this... (Quit sucking it in, you bitch.)

Hitting the panic button

So, I don't know if you've heard, but there's this swine flu thing going around.

Are you sick of hearing about it yet?? I know I am. It is not helping that I have this paranoid freakness left over from when Caroline was in the NICU. I'm absolutely terrified of her getting sick, going back to the hospital, or worst of all, losing her. Really, I couldn't care less if I get this stupid pig flu, except that then I wouldn't be able to care for her. This is a terrible thing about being a mom, I am discovering. Reading the news and hearing about it nonstop just gives me this sick feeling in my stomach and makes me feel all shaky, thinking about something like that happening to my baby.

Tyler thinks I'm totally nuts. (Chances are, you do too, at this point... but hey, it's my blog and I'll freak out if I want to!) Our phone conversation from this morning, after I read the news about the toddler in Texas who died:

Me: We're not taking Caroline anywhere unnecessary until this whole thing is over with.
Tyler: Okay, fine, but I think you're going a little overboard here.
Me: I don't care, I'd rather be safe than sorry.
Tyler: Should I also pick up a shovel on my way home, so we can dig ourselves a bunker?
Me: Yes. But wear a mask at the shovel store.

Clearly, I need to step away from the CNN. It's scary, though, you have to admit! I definitely learned way too much in college about flu pandemics and how we're overdue for one. I had this one particular evolution professor who was obsessed with the idea. There are also three suspected cases in CT as of right now (all people who just traveled to Mexico), one right down the road from us. Still, I almost feel ashamed posting about it, because there's already enough propaganda about this flu out there on the internet.

And on that note, I will quit writing about it and try to stop obsessing! Luckily I have America's Next Top Model to distract me! Love this show...

And now for Caroline's latest trick!

Blood in her spit-up! Wahooo!

Sigh. I woke up to this lovely new development the other night, and rushed to the pediatrician in the morning for the third time in a week. I think they're about as sick of me as I am of them.

They said it was due to irritation of her stomach or esophageal lining from the reflux. They called the GI specialist for me, whose advice was to put her on two new medications, get rid of one of her old medications, and have me give up dairy in case she has a sensitivity. We'll be going to see the specialist in early June, which was their first available appointment. These suggestions seem to have helped... at least, I haven't seen any more blood and she hasn't had any more choking episodes.

So, I'm glad I don't have to switch to pumping or formula to thicken her feeds. BUT. It really stinks to have to give up dairy. I love my ice cream, cheese, chocolate, etc... and constantly checking labels for crap like "lactulose" is not especially fun. I was hoping that the excess lipase thing would be the last hurdle, but apparently not. I should be happy that I get to keep breastfeeding after I worked so hard to do it... but instead I am sulking about my dairy. Sulk. Sulk. Sulk.

The other breastfeeding issue du jour: I have mastitis. (That's a boob infection, for those lucky enough to not know anything about it.) Tyler was in Canada all last week so I didn't get enough sleep, and I was totally stressed by all Caroline's health problems, both of which can contribute to getting an infection. The worst part-- it's the kind of infection that starts way at the end of the nipple with a blister, and the milk gets all the way backed up to your armpit. (You're welcome.) The solution? Going to the doctor and having them stick a needle in your boob.

That is correct. I said stick a needle in your boob. Sonofabitch. Wish me luck with that one.

But somehow despite all her reflux issues and her cranky sick mommy, Caroline is still the happiest baby around:

How cute is that!!

Whose leg do I have to hump to get a referral around here?

I took Caroline in to the pediatrician yesterday to discuss her recent flare-up of le reflux. It did not go especially well. First I put her on the scale and discovered that she had lost three ounces since Friday. (In case you were unclear on this, the only person who's supposed to be losing weight around here is me.) I silently panicked until the doctor came in, but when I pointed it out to him, he said "oh, well, that isn't that much weight." I ignored this nonsense and told him about the airway issues she's been having. His response, in a nutshell: "Sometimes that happens with kids who have reflux."

I'll take "Bitches I'd Like to Slap" for 800, Alex.

Seriously, what in the hell? I tell you that my two-month-old, who has previously been hospitalized in intensive care for this very reason, cannot breathe and is losing weight and you think it's no big deal?! (This was a different doctor from the one we saw last week.) I fixed him with my Death Stare (which I have been perfecting in preparation for Caroline's first boyfriend) and told him I'd like a referral to a pediatric GI specialist, thanks very much. He gave it to me. The Death Stare cannot be denied.

So we will be going to a specialist, hopefully ASAP. I'm really not looking forward to the process-- I know they will be running lots of tests and she may even be admitted to the hospital for them-- but with any luck they will have some kind of solution.

Although if they ask me to switch to exclusively pumping or formula-feeding (so that we can thicken her feeds to help them stay down), I will flip my shit. I'll do whatever they ask, of course. But wouldn't that be ironic, after all our struggles to ditch the bottle? I'm just warning you guys, be prepared for a very whiny post if that is their solution. (You can skip it. I'd never know.)

So now we play the waiting game... hopefully it doesn't take too long to get an appointment. Fingers crossed!

Reflux: 1 billion. Me: zero.

Okay, this will teach me to brag about how well things are going! I think that's just how life goes with a baby, though-- you get the hang of one thing and another thing pops up.

Poor Caroline's reflux is totally out of control. If you remember, her reflux was the reason she was in the NICU for so long, because she got aspiration pneumonia from it. Well, it's been sort of up and down ever since, but lately I feel like it's taken over our lives! She spits up multiple times at every feeding. We go through at least 8 outfits per day. Often I can't even get her from my boob to my shoulder to burp her before she's spewed at least half an ounce all over herself, me, the couch, and the dog. Her medications (Prevacid and Zantac) have made her more comfortable with the spitting up-- it doesn't burn her little esophagus anymore-- but they don't reduce the sheer volume of it. I would be okay with it... I mean, I can do more laundry without a problem, and she seems comfortable... but she went in for her 2-month appointment on Friday and this is how it went:

Doctor: Is she nursing well?
Me: Yes, she nurses really well, but she does spit up a huge amount.
Doctor: Well, she's in the 5th percentile for weight, but that might just be her growth curve.
Me: ...I'm sorry, the what?
Doctor: The 5th percentile.
Me: WHATINTHEFUCKINGFUCK?!?!?!?

Okay, no, I didn't drop an F-bomb on the pediatrician. But I wanted to. Because AARRGHH!! I worked so hard to breastfeed exclusively, and don't get me wrong, I'm glad I do it-- but it's so hard not to feel like it's your fault when you're the sole source of nutrition and your child isn't gaining weight. (When she was born, she was somewhere around the 40th percentile. A drop to the 5th is no bueno.) The pediatrician didn't seem that concerned at the time since she had gained over a pound since her last visit, but then later in the day she called me back and interrupted my obsessing to tell me that she wanted Caroline back on weight checks to "make sure she's on the right track".

It's never what you expect it to be, you know? I used to be afraid of losing my supply or some other common problem, but my supply is super-awesome-- she just can't keep any of it down.

And as if that wasn't enough...

The very next morning, I was holding Caroline in bed and passed her to Tyler to reach for my Boppy. This was maybe 2 hours after a feeding. Suddenly, I heard Tyler say in a terrified voice "what's wrong with her??" I looked over and spit-up was coming out her nose and mouth and she had such a scared look in her eyes, and she wasn't breathing, and she had a bluish tinge around her lips. I FREAKED OUT. I flew out of bed and down the hall to get her booger sucker and suctioned her little nose and mouth like crazy until she was breathing again, while Tyler whacked her on the back.

There is nothing more terrifying than having your child not be able to breathe. I swear. Nothing can possibly compare to it. You can't breathe, you can barely see, you can't think, you feel like you're drowning. It seemed like it took hours to get her airway clear... I'm sure it was under a minute. I'm certified in infant CPR but that does not matter in that situation because you are too petrified to even remember your own name, let alone the sequence of CPR.

So now I am afraid to go to sleep because I'm scared that she will choke on spit-up and I'll wake up to the unthinkable. And of course Tyler is in Canada this week-- awesome. I'm taking her to the doctor today and demanding a referral to a pediatric GI specialist because clearly this reflux is not under control. I'm also contemplating demanding a monitor, even though I hated the monitor in the NICU. I suspect they will put her on one even if I don't ask, because airway issues are so serious.

I just want my little girl to be safe and feel better. Oh, and reflux? I hate you.