Monday, February 14, 2011

It's Valentine's Day and eff it.

Valentine's Day is a blast when you are getting divorced.

I know you think I'm being sarcastic because when am I NOT sarcastic but I'm actually not kidding. Today was pretty awesome.

If you're on Facebook, which I assume you are if you are reading a blog, you've probably seen all the billions of Valentine's Day statuses about how much "I loooooove my husband!" and "Tra la la la my boyfriend is the BESTEST!!" and lots of random hearts and squiggly lines and pictures of flowers and gifts and shit. Those annoyed the crap out of me even when I was married, but this year I find them especially grating. So I copied and pasted the one I saw most frequently:

"To celebrate Valentine's Day change profile pic to you & your spouse or significant other.. & state how long you've been together &/or how many years married"

And added:

"Started dating 06/04... engaged 08/06... married 09/07... divorced... NEXT WEEK, BETCHES!!!" And changed my profile pic to a wedding pic. In which I was vogueing and looked fab and half Tyler's nose was cut off.

Juvenile? Yup. Immature? Mmmhmm. Totally. Do I care? Not even a little bit. Normally I'd roll my eyes and label people who post shit like that as bitter drama queens, but today I just felt like hitting back a little and it felt awesome.

Luckily most people who are friends with me get my kind of humor and so it was, ah... an extremely popular status, hahaha. Judging from my friend count, it got me deleted by a couple people, but that's cool. Much easier than weeding them out myself. Because eff it, man. If society is going to rub their happiness in my face, I'm going to rub mine right back in theirs. Except mine has to do with finally getting divorced, and in my opinion, that's fucking hilarious on Valentine's Day.


Jenifer said...


MJS said...

I'm all for you one day finding a new Valentine to feel all hearts and squiggly lines about, but in the meantime Julia, this is freaking hilarious! Go you! ;)

Ashley said...

I'm a happily married woman and the fb statuses annoy the CRAP out of me.... yours was a breath of fresh air yesterday :)