Sunday, April 3, 2011

Salt in the wound

If you're recently divorced, here's a little tip from me to you: don't get a new laptop.

Why, you ask? Because you'll be forced to transfer all your old pictures to your new computer.

I had an impulse to just shove them all in one folder and transfer the whole thing at once, but I didn't. I looked through them all. Yeah, I maybe just indulged in a little bit of emotional wrist-cutting. It's okay. I just checked, and I'm still all in one piece.

Yesterday was my 27th birthday. I struggle a little bit with the milestone days, still. Holidays, birthdays, anniversaries. They're not fun. I think I need to go through a full divorced year-- get in a full cycle of life, before I can really feel whole and complete as a single mother, and not flinch when certain numbers come up on the calendar. It's okay, though. I'm doing all right.

Seven years... they don't just disappear with a couple of signatures. But it's good to remember that it wasn't all bad, that there were good times. I don't want to pretend they didn't happen.

And I know that even happier ones are coming. For all of us.


MJS said...


edmo said...

I remember the fifth one down from your Nest avatar. I think it's great to look back at old pictures because it does remind you that there was laughing and good memories. And also it shows how much he loves your daughter and that will be important for you to remember always (and will come in handy when one of you thinks she's old enough to have her eyebrow pierced and the other says no way).

Anonymous said...

I am a lurker that has been reading for close to a year. I admire your strength. Reading this post I do understand where you're coming from. But I would also caution your heart to remember that photos hurt because they tell the story we want them to tell. No one takes their photo crying, or yelling. Everyone puts on a smile, regardless of whats going on. Photos are the romantic view of our lives. I say that knowing that I LOVE photos. You seem to be a great mama, and a great person. A strong woman, and a good example for you little one. Don't roll around in sadness created by photos that cast a romantic light on your life. That is not saying there weren't great times, obviously there were. But remember, they weren't all so lovely as the pictures make them look or you wouldn't be where you are today.

Believe in you. You're doing a good job. :)

Julia said...

Thank you. You are right.

Also the first time a comment has made me cry. But the good kind of cry. Thank you. :)

June said...

You're welcome. :) Now that I know I didn't make you angry, I guess I'll tell you who I am. :) I think you're doing a great job!