Meet Mirena, my new BFF

Well, yesterday I got my IUD! I was a little freaked out about getting it put in, because back when I was in undergrad I tried to get the Paragard and it hurt when they measured my uterus before insertion (my uterus was too small, so I didn't end up getting it at the time). But my Mirena insertion yesterday went just fine-- a little crampy and uncomfortable, but overall not bad at all. I guess once your cervix has been stretched open to the point that a small person can get through it, sticking a little plastic thing through is a piece of cake.

It is such a relief not to have to worry about another unplanned pregnancy for another 5 years. For the first time in my life I feel like I've found the perfect birth control option: it's long-term, minimally hormonal, safe for breastfeeding, low-maintenance, 99.9% effective (this is crucial... haha), and will make my periods lighter and less painful (like 40% of women stop getting their period at all after a few months!)... I'm starting to sound like a commercial here, but I seriously am in love with this little piece of plastic.

In fact, here's how my insertion appointment went:

My OB (looking at Caroline sleeping in her carseat): She's so good! Are you sure you don't want another one like her??

Me: HAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! (deep breath) HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! No, seriously, hand that thing over.

Okay, maybe it didn't go exactly like that...

But honestly I'm not sure I will ever want another child, so the long-term-ness of the IUD really does appeal to me. I love Caroline more than I ever thought I would or could. But the NICU experience was really traumatic, and at my post-partum appointment my OB told me that even with hormone therapy, I'd have a 30% chance of delivering early again. And I'm sure I'd be more likely to have to stop working early once the contractions started up again. But mostly I just feel like my "mommy" urge has been satisfied with Caroline. I guess I would feel badly about not giving her a sibling, but overall I don't really know if I see another baby in our future. I know that for some moms, the love they feel for their first child makes them want another one that much more... but for me, it has made me feel reluctant to take away any attention from her by having another baby.

I know that Tyler wants at least one more (he's always said he wanted three; I always used to want two), so we might have some disagreement over this in the future.

But for now it doesn't really matter because regardless of what happens, we'd want to wait several years. And I realize that I might change my mind down the road when she gets older... and of course I might not have a choice in the matter, just like this time! However. These are my thoughts at the moment.

And it sure does feel good not to have to worry about repeating this whole experience. I wouldn't trade my Caroline for the world, but I won't be playing Russian roulette with my birth control again any time soon.